Do limiting beliefs determine your choices?

We’ve arrived: the final post about power loss and how to live from a powerful center. So far, we covered losing our power by: giving it away, negative self-talk and saying yes when we mean no (aka finding our big Yes).  We’ve also explored several easy, accessible ways to get our power back.

Here we cover the last two ways to lose power: allowing limiting beliefs to determine our choices & disconnecting from our essential self.

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Let’s dive right in!

Allowing limiting beliefs (i.e. should, ought, can’t) to determine our choices. When I hear myself saying, “I should”, I stop in my tracks. I wonder how I, a grown woman, can still start statements with “should”. When I hear “should”, I think of my childhood, with my parents’ voices in my ear: you should eat your brussel sprouts, you should go to college, you should be a good girl (ugh). In short: I think of a time when my decisions were largely determined by someone else's belief system.

Decades later, committed to untangling the web of others' ideas about who I "should" or "can" be from the *actual* me that is true, real and wanting to be creatively expressed, I still find shoulds (or can’ts) tumbling out of my mouth. When a 'should' manages to escape my lips, I know to (compassionately!) dig a little. Is this really a should? If yes, I should for whom? Or am I using old language for a sincere, true and present desire? Admittedly, here is where the waters get a little murky, but with persistence and dedication, clarity is just around the corner.

At times I get impatient with my shoulds, but I hold much compassion for the part of me that thinks in the form of “should” or “can’t”. It’s often a (young) part that hasn’t yet realized that I’m all grown up with resources that connect me to endless supplies of love, beauty and spirited living.

When you hear yourself saying “should”, try this: replace should with “want”. Is the statement still true for you? How does the feeling/energy of the statement change? As we begin to tease out the shoulds from what the heart really wants, we feel more energized and power-filled. We begin making decisions based on our true expression and out of our power, rather than living out someone else's vision of us.

Disconnecting from our essential self, from our center. This last point is interwoven in everything we’ve covered. Once we lose power, we disconnect from a part of Self. But we can also disconnect by putting so much time and energy out in the world that we never come home to ourselves. When we don’t take time to know Self, to connect to our essence, then it is easy to lose power. We move through life on autopilot with so many things calling our attention. We forget about our purpose and no longer feel our place in the universe.

We each have our own way of slowing down and feeling the sacredness of self and life. I slow down by:

• Going for walks
• Being outside, with the plants
• Connecting with my animal friends
• Enjoying my partner
• Laughing
• Cooking
• Meditating
• Yoga-ing, dancing, moving, climbing
• Creating
• Sitting on my sister’s porch
• Writing in my journal
• Talking about my dream world
• Journeying
• Creating altars

What does your list look like? How can you integrate 'coming home' practices into your life regularly? When we slow down and allow enjoyment of Self, we are more present for others and for all things that life throws us. Allow yourself to be nourished by being at home in your body and feel yourself as a centered, power-filled being!

May we all enter this next season in right relationship with Self, finding joy, ease and freedom in our life expression.