Saying Yes When We Mean No: Finding Our Big Yes
I’m always happy for new opportunities, new learning and ways to support my community. There was a time when I happily said yes to everyone I loved and to all new opportunities that crossed my path.
My life was full and on many levels, I was satisfied. However, when I began growing a wonderful love relationship, I wanted time, energy and space for myself and for the relationship. I found I couldn’t do that without letting go of some things. Thus begun my exploration of finding my big Yes.
The path to my big Yes wasn’t a straight one. I felt pulled in too many directions (read: I chose to give my energy to too many things), with little left to grow what meant so much to me. So I began saying no to everything. This did not necessarily serve me either, but was my path to finding my big, powerful yeses.
My simple lesson, thanks to dear Red Cameron (a visionary and intuitive life coach I’ve worked with for years), was this:
There are 4 ways to answer a calling:
a big Yes
a little yes
a yes that means no
a no
Behind the big Yes is: excitement, enthusiasm and passion. It’s what gets us up in the morning and keeps us awake at night.
The little yes is when we say yes to something and feel neutral about it. There’s no big excitement, but no impulse not to do it.
The Yes that means no – well, that’s pretty clear. We say yes out of obligation (or for a long list of other reasons), but our heart really says no.
The no is just that – No.
My simple invitation from Red was to make all my decisions a big YES. The little yeses were to be bumped up to big Yeses and what couldn’t be made into a big Yes, was to be made a compassionate and clear no.
This seems pretty obvious, but when we say yes and there is even a small part of us that feels no, then we’re energetically leaving a part of us behind as we move forward. We are unable to be fully present. We are not in our full power. Similarly, little yeses don’t have the same empowerment in them as big yeses. Feel the difference between these decisions:
“Sure, I’ll do X [fill in the blank]. Why not?”
And – “Yes! I’d love take that on/go/participate. Awesome!”
I love the simplicity of making my decisions from this perspective.
An invitation to live life in the big Yes is an invitation to live with more enjoyment and beauty.
I sometimes find myself saying a lot of little yeses, and I’m okay with that. I also know when I’m able to pause and make the little yes into a big yes (or the yes that is really a no into a clear no), my life-enjoyment factor jumps exponentially.
If you find you’re saying a little yes, or saying yes but part of you hesitates, then ask yourself if you can find a big Yes in that situation.
If you’re unable to find your big Yes (have your full energy behind it), then consider changing your answer to no. This allows you to act in alignment/full power and also allows for more life enjoyment. Who doesn’t want that?
Here’s to living a life overflowing with big Yeses.
Join us for our next power drain: limiting beliefs (i.e. should, ought, can’t)
